A birthday removed–thankful for my mother

 

November 28, 1951

Donna Lynn Tramell (born, Donna L. Sizemore)

Today would have been my mom’s 62nd birthday. It’s hard to imagine that almost nine years ago my mom passed away. However, today isn’t the day to focus on the death of my mom…it’s THANKSGIVING – it’s a day to focus on what we are thankful for. I am thankful for my mom. I am thankful that, while her life was shorter than we had hoped for, no one can take away who she was to me nor the impact she has left (her imprint) on my life, my soul, my family, and my children whom she never had the chance to meet.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you with all I have. Part of the thankfulness of the month of November and it’s pre-Advent season has always been the curiosity and joy of looking forward to November 28th – it’s your day. It always will be. So glad that today, this year, this day, is the same day when so many take a few minutes to pause and reflect with family what we are thankful for – and to partake in BEING a familia. I hope that Jesus is strolling you around in the Heavens, revealing more and more of His riches and blessings for you – to remind you of His greatness and His beauty – that you are one-in-the-same with Him…and His Glory! That this day was the day He created you to exist on Earth….and that 62 years later, your son would be remembering, missing, loving, and honoring you.

You were one wonderful woman. I have the heart and the memories to prove it. I have the daughter, with red hair, and your nose…to prove it all over again! Happy Birthday to you, dear Mom. Dear Donna. Dear Aunt Donna. Dear Mama D.

Remembering you,

 

-ao

[The Wild Wild West] a heart of thanksgiving

A sweet note from my bride's blog....

I love this picture. No, really. I love it. I can't stop looking at it. I might even print it off and hang it on my fridge. Andy took this yesterday morning. Wyatt and Boone had gone outside and played in the "snow" and Wyatt just decided to keep his warm jacket on. I am wearing my mint colored robe that I have had for 8 years. 8 years!!! I bought it for when I was in the hospital about to have my first baby. It is so warm and cozy. I had gone to the library the day before and surprised them with a bunch of new books about squirrels, koalas, lemurs and owls…yes, I'm not kidding. They are obsessed with animals. I love that they are all in our bed, cozied up next to each other, engaged in this book. There is not a worry in the world at this moment. They are warm and safe and little. I wish I could freeze time in this picture…but I guess that is what pictures really are…time frozen. 8, 5 and 2. I look at this picture and thank God that He gave them to us. That he chose me to be their Mama and these three to be my children. I thank God for my husband who loves me in a way that I can't even put into words. I love doing life with him. I love that God put us together to hold each other up when the other needs it. I am so grateful he "gets" me. He knows my broken and dark places and loves me through them.

I am thankful that during times of pain and sadness, God gives us glimpses of Heaven. A song, a scripture, a sweet note from a friend, laughter, sunrises and sunsets.

Thanksgiving will be different this year. My heart misses my Dad. I wonder if Heaven has a big Thanksgiving feast. With a long banquet table of all his friends and family that have gone to be with Jesus through the years. I picture him sitting with the Lord and his heart so full of thanksgiving and gratitude. That his faith has been made sight.

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, his love endures forever.
Psalm 107:1

Just thinking

To listen to the instructions of God.

Seems simple and desirable enough. It's a hope of mine...and to carry them out, the instructions of God, well, that can feel like a different task altogether. However, when we pause and consider enough...in our inmost places, the desire and love of God - those "instructions" suddenly become more a guide, a poem of direction rather than a list of do's and don'ts which allow no freedom nor fun. 

I'm gathering more and in my experiences that God's desire is more of presence and dwelling than boundaries and wrong doing, etc. I believe His desire is to be fully present with us, His creation.  If that is the case, because He is God, there must be Holiness and Glory. For He says, "Be Holy, for I am Holy.". So, it shouldn't be any surprise as what his requirements are to walk with Him. It's more like a license to live...live truly and in freedom. Otherwise there is living hopelessly and in bondage. To me, that spells misery and nothing that is life-giving. 

 I want to live where there is freedom and hope and Glory and goodness and desires that come from Heaven. So, today, I will do my part to honor that which God the Father has called me forth. 

What other "choice" is there? 

The instructions of God...

Blessings,

Andy O. 

Out of my time in Exodus...

This morning I was reminded of the delivery methods of God.  He delivers clearly and so it seems is in the same manner by which Jesus put on skin, that we might have life abundantly (John 10:10). He delivers with ample supply...more than enough...more than is desired..more than our fill - He essentially over delivers. 

I think it's a matter of fully trusting in his power. Fully trusting in His calling. His word. His desires. When this occurs, belief rings true and I believe it pleases the Father even more so and He can't resist...the truth is, He's crazy over His creation. 

May we listen more deeply and trust from our roots upward into the arms and direction of God. 

Blessings today. 

-ao

Notes from Holy Week contemplation

Psalm 22:19

"But you, O Lord, be not far off; O my Strength, come quickly to help me."
-Psalms 22:19 (NIV84)

And then...

Psalm 27:14

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
-Psalms 27:14 (NIV84)


Take heart and wait...for the Lord.

Watching the snow fall.

Waiting for the depths of what this Thursday night and Friday morning mean within the core of myself...longing to hope for the the Life that will spring forth on Sunday morning...Life from the power of God. Life from the focused Christ...from His heart..from His love. It was......for me. For you. For us. All of us.

Again, snow falling today; yet another reminder that He is in control. Not me. Thank heavens. He is in control. While I have things, ambitions, and specific hopes....not one thing will happen that has not first been allowed to happen by the love and mercy of God. Oh how I hope for things to come...yet the sense I get within, the one that seems to be from the Spirit of the Lord, His Holy Spirit...seems to say "wait for the Lord!" "keep your focus on Easter...on what I have done for you!"

So here in the snow...I wait, I watch, and I long for the next move of Jesus. It's snow for now...what to make of this perfectly unique and pure white covering from the skies??? I suppose I can only continue to watch and wait in gratitude alone.

Gratitude, Lord.

Here am I. Hoping. Waiting. Watching. (secretly crossing my fingers)

Blessings,

-ao

genesis 32:22-32

From Olivia's blog. From our reading today....I say "ditto" - read below. 

The back drop is also Psalm 31. 

-ao 

 [The Wild Wild West] genesis 32:22-32

Please, go read this now.

I am doing a Lenton Devotional written by a friend of ours, Jim Branch. It's been neat because Andy is doing it too and we have had some great conversations. I have had so many "Ah-ha" moments where God continues to show me another deep layer of Himself. This week the title is Broken. We are all broken. Christians, non-Christians. We are broken. We have all experienced pain, sadness and even some of us have questioned "Why". Why me?  Why am I having to go through this? Why is this happening?

This brings me encouragement:

In fact, blessings sometimes come through brokenness that could never come in any other way. –Gerald G. May

A night when God finds us alone, grabs us, throws us to the ground, and wrestles with that fundamental flaw in our character. In that dark night of the soul, though He cripples us, in the dawn He blesses us. –Ken Gire

Deepen my hurt until I learn to share it and myself openly, and my needs honestly. Sharpen my fears until I name them and release the power I have locked in them and they in me. –Ted Loder

Some of the times I have felt the closest to God, have been some of the most dark times in my life. God was faithful and continues to be faithful. Thank you Lord.

--
Posted By Blogger to The Wild Wild West at 3/12/2013 02:30:00 PM

Tuesday...it's the only today I have

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." -Psalm 51:10

The best day of your life?

Recently, a friend sat with me discussing our lives, our trust in God...or lack of trust, and the hope we have in God's faithfulness & provision. We talked about desires and from where do they come from...of how the Lord both placed them (the ones we referred to in our conversation) and wants to give us the desires of our hearts. He delights in our hearts' desires!

Then, my friend spoke up about living our lives. He said, "I spent my entire life living "out there", waiting on my life and my ministry to unfold. He said I knew that when I got there (pointing with his finger out from his body) I would have everything in order...all my financials, all my details of my ministry, my family...my dreams. But, you can't live out there in the future just the same that you can't live your life in the past...and you know you can't do that!!" Then he looked at me and said, "Andy, today is the BEST day of your life...it's the only one you have. Live in this moment, this breath, this one..right now, every single day. It's all you have."

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!

Lord, help me to live today in each breath as a gift from you because it's precisely what I have been given from you. Let me live my life purely. Renew my spirit with you each day. Beginning, now.

Amen.

"Your breath isn't your own; it has been borrowed from God."

"We experience being drawn, like a magnet, to the Divine."

-both from Macrina Wiederkehr

Blessings,

-ao

Today's Reading

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion–to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. Aliens will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God.You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. “For I, the Lord, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the Lord has blessed.” I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.
-Isaiah 61:1-11 (NIV84)


Thanks be to God.

-ao

Day 6. The Winter is over.

"My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold, the winter is past;the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledoveis heard in our land."
-Song of Solomon 2:10-12 (ESV)

Last night, James, our speaker, stood up to tell the Love Story. He told the "old old story" of Jesus on the cross. He told of Jesus becoming our Sin...of the love of God and His passion for me, for each of us. He talked about Jesus taking upon Himself & the cross all of our brokenness and all the symptoms of Sin and all our things we do to attempt to fill the emptiness in our lives...all of it was placed upon Jesus Christ, that we might live in Him. That we wouldn't have to be the ones to shoulder that burden.

After the talk, we were sent out to be alone under the Colorado sky....to think about what we had heard, to ponder and consider the love of God, to perhaps talk with Him or hand over our hearts. Or to use it, quietly however we needed. I sat there in the silence feeling unworthy and so in awe of God...and I heard above all the quietness a repeating sound...one boy who was about 25 feet away was sobbing. He was crying uncontrollably. He would get louder and then quietly cry...then it would pick back up again. Underneath the pantings, I could hear his whisper, "Thank you...thank you...thank...thank you!!" He was in awe. I think what he experienced is similar to this:

"The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones."
-Proverbs 15:30 (ESV)

Last night our friends heard good news. Last night, the light of God shone forth and into many of their hearts. Many of them will be forever marked by the love of Jesus.

There is more to tell...more about three of our guys who handed their hearts to Christ last night. More about the joy of our leaders. More of how one boy's life is different because "I met you!" he told his leader.

Keep praying.

-ao